Drama

The greatest disadvantage to being a college student is the general immaturity of the men, and, even more frustratingly, the general lack of dateable men. I like to think of myself as a highly eligible bachelor. I have a decent job/income...at least for a college student. I'm an expert conversationalist. I have varied interests. The list goes on and on. But for some reason, I can't seem to achieve an actual working relationship.
I think that my biggest problem is something that I perceive to be my greatest strength. I appreciate my ex-boyfriends as friends. I have difficulty shutting them out of my life entirely. Is it because I hold on too much? Perhaps. I imagine it's because I shared a part of myself with each of them...a piece of my heart...and even if my heart cannot be completely whole, I'd like to keep those pieces close.
I need to move on. I need to learn to let go. I need to actually let go. In the end, I'm only screwing myself. I realised that earlier this week, when I was turned down by someone...because he assumed that I wasn't over my ex. It's a difficult balance, it really is.


I love my life. There are many good aspects to it. But right now, I just feel bogged down. Like walking through water in heavy boots. Everything just seems to catch at me. It's frustrating and upsetting. And the worst part is knowing that things will get worse before they get better.